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Album “DON’T PUSH THIS BUTTON!”
01. Hurts so bad
02. Not so important
03. Disagree
04. This generation ends
05. You keep breathing
06. Nothing’s wrong
07. It’s never been you
08. I won’t let you go
09. No good time
10. Lost
11. Other plans
12. Waiting for the day
13. Not the one

Album “ENJOY DYSTOPIA”
01. At least we’ll forget
02. I despise you
03. This pretty life
04. Arrive somewhere
05. Es geht dich nichts an
06. It’s who you are
07. Trying too hard
08. Implode
09. Just leave it
10. Wish myself away


Album “YOU WIN. WHO CARES?”

01. Sick of you
02. Wrong direction
03. A bullet left for you
04. Invisible
05. Anything you want
06. The pain that kills you too
07. Just like this
08. Too late
09. If this is hope
10. I don’t fight back
11. What if there’s nothing


Album “ANOTHER MANIC EPISODE”

01. Not what I wanted
02. Fake to be alive
03. All the things you say
04. Under control
05. Observer
06. Until it’s over
07. The race of the rats
08. If I were you
09. I don’t want you in here
10. Stay


Album “REASONS TO KILL”

01. I hate you more than my life
02. Face me
03. Change the view
04. When I bite
05. Reset to default
06. Rise and fall
07. I’d rather break
08. My spaces
09. One step closer
10. My bleeding heart
11. The pages

Album “FRONTIERS”
01. Under the skies
02. Why did I raise the fire
03. No apologies
04. More than this
05. Parasites
06. Such a shame
07. Where are you
08. The rising doubt
09. Pain goes by
10. Until I’m back
11. The line of sight

Album “BROKEN GRID”
01. Hiding memories from the sun
02. Stigmata rain
03. (You think you’re) Radical
04. The Shield
05. Creep
06. Here I stand
07. I keep my eyes shut
08. Hero & Conqueror
09. Lies
10. Sometimes
11. Your hell is here
12. I can’t remember

Album “DON’T PUSH THIS BUTTON!”

01. Hurts so bad

Is it the time to take the blame
Or try and keep you in the game
With false reaction, no attraction
Take some pills and walk away

You’re feeling secretly denied
No one’s remaining by your side
Whispers crashing, you feel like smashing
Your face against the floor again

Don’t know how many moods you’ve faked
But how much more is there to take
And no distraction, no direction
There’s just nowhere left to go

“And it hurts so bad
It’s a life I never wanted!
Under the golden layers, concealed from you to see
’Cause it hurts so bad
It’s a life I never wanted!
I never wanted it to end (like this)”

Tired of losing anyway
It never matters what you say
And all rejection and disconnection
It doesn’t even make it worse
For now all morbid fear is gone
The fighting ends, you accept they’ve won
And all the pressure and all displeasure
Leaves you here in your own void

–> top of page



02. Not so important

I say it was luck
And then you say they’re corrupt
I guess it’s not so important
I think we’re just spoilt
Always feeling annoyed
I guess it’s not so important

You thought they were drunk
I say that everyone’s junk
I guess it’s not so important
Perhaps I’m just mean
Those people sober and clean
But it seems not so important

Nothing better to do
They feel like one of the few
I guess they’re not so important
You know you are screwed
Tear up all bills overdue
All this is not so important

For sure the wall comes crashing down
When I hide behind it
I choke on words and face my fears in vain
And everything that’s still undone,
I will leave it to you
I just don’t think hope’s killing me again

You say everyone ducks
Then I say everyone sucks
I guess it’s not so important
And all they confess,
They never cleaned up their mess
I guess it’s not so important
Bend the truth till it cracks
Confuse opinion with facts
They think that’s not so important
But I can’t hear this no more
I feel so tired and sore
But well, they’re not so important

I’m not so important, you’re not so important
They’re not so important, we’re not so important

–> top of page


03. Disagree

So I hear all those words coming out of their mouths
And they pass above
And you say I was always right
But I know you’re wrong
I couldn’t feel guilty this time
And I’ve lost most of my empathy
I never wondered why all
Their ambition felt so strange

And then I go
And I fall

This is my life, but why must I
Disagree about anything
And because rules do not apply
I disagree about anything
With no more lies to identify
I could be free of everything
I don’t seek out best replies
Just disagree about anything

And I’m forced by some hands
That keep me down under the waterline
I can’t see ’cause it’s dark
And I only can breathe out
And I’ll never know what it takes
To remain inside my comfort zone
I’m afraid I’ll forget how it feels
To be strong and safe and sure

–> top of page


04. This generation ends

It’s a dead end, I’m freezing
I won’t complain, I’m ceasing
To trouble everybody around me
I’ll just let it go
I’m frequently failing
Never wasted time prevailing
Over someone I don’t care for,
I just can’t unfuck my life at all

I’m flying, you’re screaming, trying to stem the bleeding
Just further, without comments, and this generation ends
I’m hollow, you’re leaving, I can’t improve the meaning
Go higher without defence, and this generation ends

It’s a dead end, I’m burning
Disillusion beats the yearning
Could be deaf or just not listening
Would you see a difference anyway?
Have you found some explanation
Or did you end up in frustration
Just like myself? Made me realise
That I can’t unfuck this world at all

Oh, what a mess, and nothing more to come
We’ve wasted all the time we’ve had with wasting all our time
And all I know… the worthlessness I’ve felt
We’ll spill that last drink, ’cause that’s what we do

–> top of page


05. You keep breathing

Are you turning into someone
That you don’t want to become
But you look at yourself in the mirror
From the corner at the back
You’re being plagued by your own demons
’Cause they won’t leave you alone
No matter what you’re gonna try out
They will always play their part

You keep breathing
What if there’s more you could believe in
For now it’s only flaws
You keep breathing
You just can’t find a higher meaning
’Cause it’s only flaws

And you wake up every morning
And your thoughts drift back in time
When you’re in this classroom
Education is the key to a happier life, they said
And you followed their instructions
But they never seemed to work for you
It was pointless, no one noticed
That you came apart, but still

–> top of page


06. Nothing‘s wrong

It’s hard to understand why everybody knows
But nobody reacts
Like we’re not doomed. But hey, we are!
You know it’s like to speak but never say a word
But wait! That’s just what we do best
And running out of time is all we seem to do
It looks like we deserve what’s to come
So let’s just close our eyes, let’s just close our eyes
And pretend there’s nothing wrong
Nothing’s wrong

No plan and no idea, so we’re just moving on
’Cause we don’t wanna lose what we’ve achieved
While we were celebrating our descent
So let’s just close our eyes

We know it’s coming, there’s still time for our regrets
Let’s try to find someone and make them pay our debts
Because we’re broke
We’re just too busy finding out what to expect
Go and get something out of this and have all boxes checked

There’s always someone who denies
And says it’s not too bad
Let’s just keep going on and on and on
Our comfy little lives come first
And then it’s us again, again
No need to look around and see
What we have done by now
Sit down, relax and just enjoy the show
It’s gonna be the last!
Why don’t we close our eyes?
Let’s just close our eyes and pretend there’s nothing wrong
Nothing’s wrong

“There’s really nothing we can do”
“What difference do I make?”
“And what we’ve all been through…
Too tough, you know?”
It’s all about myself. My comfy little life.
Come on, let’s close our eyes!

–> top of page


07. It‘s never been you
Missed the chances once again
Everybody looks the same, quite insane
A couple of drinks too much, I guess
Still there’s nothing to confess, it’s easier to suppress

There’s only right or wrong
Just follow the truth that you own alone
Give away what you’ve been fighting for
You discovered the clue, it’s never been you

Together you fall, together you crawl
It’s never been you
Together you fall, together too small

Just repeating what you’ve heard,
You’re the one to spread the word, it’s so absurd
If you’re screaming loud enough
People think you’re really tough, oh, and rough

All the noise you’ve made… It’s just for the slow,
You’ve ended up low
Beyond what I define as regular,
But you discovered the clue
It’s never been you

Together you fall, together you crawl
It’s never been you
Together you fall, together too small
And all the things that no longer matter
You just divide into black and white
Loved by the brainless, you’re pretty flattered
I know after all, your dick is too small

I’ve heard enough of all your bullshit
I’ve seen too much of all you pathetic fools
You can’t be wrong if they’re cheering for you
’Cause you know it’s true
And the voices in your head got numb
You discovered the clue it’s never been you

–> top of page


08. I won‘t let you go

I’m cold and dead inside,
I don’t want to know what I already know
I can’t stand this stupidity
Yes, I blame you for this hell
Fuck you, you’re not enough
Just tricking the fools and playing tough
Fuck you, just shout it out
’Cause you don’t understand

’Cause everything’s sad and unbearable,
I won’t let you go
For all you’ve done and the things you’ve said,
I won’t let you go
If you find an escape, I’ll be in your way,
I won’t let you go
And the games you’ve played, now it’s too late,
I won’t let you get away with it

What’s left behind your eyes
The loudest lie still won’t be the truth
I don’t get how anyone can fall
For the hatred and all the shit you talk
Fuck you, I’ve had enough
Of what you say and what you really mean
Fuck you, just bark it out
I guess you don’t understand!

–> top of page


09. No good time

Gimme something for my headache
To survive another daybreak
All the restless and the important
All the freaks and the creeps and the distorted
Invitations, first world problems
Regulation, brainless comments
Separation for good reason
It’s enough, it’s enough, it’s enough, it’s…

No good time
To try my nerves
If you want lies
Skip me today
It’s no good time
To play these games
It’s just that I don’t care and I don’t want to explain

Pointless chatting in the restroom
One opinion and a costume
Never listening or accepting
And you don’t understand what’s been happening
Think I’m done with faking interest
Like your whining is a contest
Too much torture to keep you going
It’s enough, it’s enough, it’s enough, it’s…

–> top of page


10. Lost

Like the water creates all the twists in your face
When reflections show in an infinite flow
And it covers your tears, makes you bury the fears
When you tried to fight, and stayed away from the light

And those mistakes you never made
How could you know the price you paid
And you realised there’s nobody here
Who would reach out their hands for you, and

You were already lost before you could escape it, at least face it
You were already lost before you could make it go away

When it’s silent it’s safe, never wished to be brave
It’s hard to understand when nothing ever goes as planned
If there was anyone left it could be worth getting dressed
But why should you care, it’s all too screwed up to repair

And all the words you tried to fake
Those hurtful thoughts you couldn’t take, so
You socialised to no avail
And no one found out you disappeared, ’cause…

You were already lost before you could escape it, at least face it
You were already lost before you could make it go away
If there was more than this emptiness waiting for you,
You’d fake it or take it slow
But you’ve already been lost before you
Knew you’d break apart

Are you gone – now?
Are you done – how?
They just ran out on you.

–> top of page


11. Other plans

You don’t see me when I merge into the background
Even if I always stand right next to you
How does it feel for you?
How good does it feel for you?

You don’t hear me when I scream amongst other noises
Even if I try to be as loud as I can
How does it feel for you?
How good does life feel for you again?

You don’t feel me when I stand so close to your back
You don’t notice when I follow in your track
How good does it feel for you?
Tell me, how does it feel for you?

Sometimes you try and sometimes you don’t
You never ask why and I know you won’t ever look at yourself
’Cause there’s nothing you would see

Got other plans today
It’s not so complicated
Just don’t mind if I fail to ask you to stay
There’s nothing left to say
We just never correlated
I just really need to take off the weight

You don’t fear me when you look me in the eye now
Even if you’re aware of the knife in my hand
So, how does it feel for you?
Tell me, how does life feel for you?

Sometimes you lie and sometimes you don’t
You never know why and I’m sure you won’t ever look at yourself
’Cause there’s nothing you would see

–> top of page


12. Waiting for the day

You got used to clear the way
To remain unseen and just obey
Try to forget all the hurt
’Cause that’s all there ever was
As if your hands are tied up for good
You don’t even feel misunderstood
And you still ask
If there’s one thing you really want

And you dream yourself away from all that mess
What if you just stayed free of the useless weight

And you’re still waiting for the day
When there’s some colour in the grey
And most of your thoughts will be okay
But it all seems beyond reach

And you still feel invisible
Which makes you even more miserable
Only another pill gives you sleep to stop your mind
You still believe your time will come
Things you’ve missed out become undone
You must know it’s too late because time is running out

And dreams now fade
And all you know
Is that you never can be free of the useless weight

–> top of page


13. Not the one

Why can’t you just leave me alone, I don’t wanna talk
I wanna sit on my own, I don’t wanna walk
Don’t wanna laugh and smile and dance
Don’t wanna take a glance now
Why don’t you see that I won’t pretend to be someone
I couldn’t even spend a minute with
It seems I don’t fit in your perfect world

And you say you’d understand
But you cannot see
The writing in the sand, long worn away

You’re not the one I wanna cry for
You’re not the one I wanna die for
You wanna run, but I don’t see why
For you it’s begun, but I don’t have time for this

Why don’t you talk to someone else,
I just wanna listen to my silence instead
And nothing would glisten
I’m tired of approval and feigned consent
Losing another fight
What if you change and what if you don’t
What if we were strangers and what if we weren’t
What if you would see yourself the way you see me

And you say you’d understand
But you cannot see
The writing in the sand, long worn away

I don’t have time for this
No time for this

–> top of page


Album “ENJOY DYSTOPIA”

01. At least we’ll forget

All your attempts to ease some pain
Too many pills, a bit more cocaine
But in the end it was all in vain
You just added more addictions
And you collapsed on too many floors
And died a death at bathroom doors
It just got worse than ever before
You’re far beyond your former limits now

But time can never heal
All the hurt and harm you’ve caused
But I’m fine for now,
And so glad you never asked

You’re not my fault, at least we’ll forget
You want destruction, so kill yourself instead
You’re not my fault, at least we’ll forget
You’re my dysfunction, get out of my head

And all your phrases sound the same
You crave their love, you need some fame
There’s always someone else to blame
You’re desperate for attention
And things repeat and nothing’s changed
And every fortune prearranged
You’re almost covered and rather strange to me

It’s not unfair to see
How you turned into someone else
And I’m fine for now
And I’m glad you never asked

If you could see what I can see…
If you could feel the pain…

–> top of page


02. I despise you

So I play along and I stand aside
And I turn away, try not to collide
With the strength to fear. Am I paranoid?
‘Cause it doesn’t feel like I’m yet destroyed
And I cannot move but I want to leave
Away from simple goals I can never achieve
Now you look to me. But what is your plan?
Is it good enough? What am I waiting for?
For gods? For escape?
Or just a way to guide me out?
Of this… of here? Still I just want to kill them all…

But all that my hell comprises
Benevolent compromises
And I really despise you
Bad enough not to fuck it up
What’s with your cliched surprises?
And where is your plain advice right now?
Oh, I really despise you
Bad enough not to fuck it up

And I watch my steps, creeping carefully
Make my frozen heart beat in your frequency
What’s the next move you’ll make?
I’m left in the dark
As if all the weight will become a spark
To ignite a flame that could burn them down
And no backup left when I turn around
It’s not all on me, but my mind is set
And it brought us here
To the place where it all commenced
No gods, no escape
And not a way to lead us out
Of this… Of here. Now I just want to kill them all…

–> top of page


03. This pretty life

Your hazy image on the wall,
It’s watching me
Here in my mind. I cannot see.
Drifting off the course, apparently
I have no strength to disagree
And everyone is filled with chemicals
To get some sleep or something else
But I don’t want to wake them up again
Just let it all pass

I’m not here to find
The careless deeper sense anymore
I’m not here to try
To fit into those worlds that I don’t belong

Get it all – then break it…
How could you sink down so low
This pretty life – you’ve faked it
So that you’ll never be left alone
But everything is waste now
So tell me why you don’t know
This pretty life – a shattered vow
And nothing is left to blow

And everyone would try so many things
Like angels fly with broken wings
Needing so much time to finalise
Their self-portraits, mutating lies
Sifting through the ruins,
Crushed by themselves
No leftovers for someday else
Seizing all remains as long as they can…

–> top of page


04. Arrive somewhere

These heavy clouds
They’re raining down on you and me
And everything seems unbearable
If you are waiting for that actual moment…
It’s long since past, you see?
I don’t know what I was waiting for

Then you said,
‘There are some days
When I just want to leave, I want to run away
Then I realise that my own feet
Will not carry me’

It’s time to go and now I just want you to know
That I would love to sense you’re here
Because the rest proved insincere
Let’s let them stand, backs to the wall
They’ll only watch us as we fall
And I don’t care how we survive
If there’s a chance we could arrive somewhere

I don’t want to blame
My own mistakes on someone else
And I don’t want to forget my past
So will you come with me and stay
Or step aside and clear the way
Instead of wasting so much time

‘Cause you said,
‘There are some days
When I just want to leave, I want to run away
Then I realise that my own feet
Will not carry me’

–> top of page


05. Es geht Dich nichts an

“Warum reißt du dich nicht zusammen?”
“Das ist doch alles halb so schlimm!”
“Willst du nicht mal darüber reden?”
“Es geht vorüber, immerhin”
“Jetzt wart’ mal auf den nächsten Tag
Und dann wird alles besser aussehen!”
“Warum fragst du nicht einfach?”
“Warum willst du schon gehen?”
“Warum willst du das denn nicht sehen?”

Es geht dich (doch) einen Scheiß an, was ich denk’
Und falls du es noch nicht weißt,
Du drehst dich doch selbst im Kreis
Scher’ dich um deinen eigenen Scheiß, Mann!
Es geht dich (doch) einen scheiß an, wer ich bin
Und falls du es noch nicht weißt,
Ich habe keinen preis,
Kümmer’ dich um deinen eigenen scheiß, Mann!

“Jetzt komm’ doch erst mal wieder runter
Und setz dich hin und sei entspannt
Und ich erklär’ dir deine wunden”
“Geh durch die Tür, nicht durch die Wand!”
“Du wirst schon sehen, bald kommt der Tag,
An dem der Himmel wieder blau ist,
Also hab dich nicht so!”
“Es muss doch weitergehen”
“Warum willst du das denn nicht sehen?”

Kannst du dir vorstellen, wie das nervt?
Und wie entsetzlich anstrengend das ist?
Kannst du dir vorstellen, wie das nervt?
Kannst du dir vorstellen, dass du nervst?

–> top of page


06. It’s who you are

I won’t let you into my head, I won’t let you fuel my anger
So many tears left unshed, what if I raised the anchor?
And all those words in a line, prepare to spread the poison
Without a chance to confine
What’s made us strong, destroys us

You never let me forget, there’s never been a reason
For any candid regrets
There’s no time for smiles and pleasing
I got used to falsehood and lies
It’s not worth the fight or wrangle
Perspective sometimes implies
A view from a different angle

Fears uncontrolled… so do what you’re told
And keep yourself down and watch me as I drown
It’s all in your sight, but you’re blinded by the night
So I’ll switch off the light

‘Cause this is who you are
And this is how you fall
And this is what you get
I wish we’d never met

‘Cause it’s just who you are
You looked stronger from afar
And this is how you crawl
‘Cause that’s just who you are

I won’t let you fuck with my brain
I don’t care if you will hate me
‘Cause I’ll break your rules anyway
‘Cause I stopped pursuing you lately

I just want you out of my mind
But I never will forget you
You wanted me to resign
You know, I nearly let you win

–> top of page


07. Trying too hard

Another wasted campaign
To show off and impress
Some random folk who just hang out
Dropping names of celebrities
Nobody even knows
But you’re best friends with each and every one
Is it a side effect of your addiction
Or just a sign of insecurity…
I don’t care if you want to sell yourself as the victim
Accusing everybody else

But you’re trying too hard
And you’re talking too much
And you act like a fool for no reason
Are you afraid that the world will keep turning
Without your own ideas on everything?
You’re trying too hard
And you keep talking too much
And then you’re now breaking down for no reason
You crave a little attention,
‘Cause nobody likes you
For being the way that you are

So do you actually seek out compassion
Or are you just a nasty regular prat?
Covering identity with dissatisfaction
And making everyone else miserable
Is this your strategy to gain some friends
Or to force the people around
Enjoy the time spent with you,
They can’t avoid your presence
Your ego’s crushed in the grime

–> top of page


08. Implode

Another kick in the face…
And this pain in your head…
Again you’re lost in the chase
You always pick up the dirt
When you try to be smart
But in the end you’ll get hurt
And it’s not okay with you
It is really not okay
But you’ve got used to losing
The things you wanted the most

Then you implode again
With every word you kept in mind
‘Cause it’s hard enough
To duck down from explosions everywhere
You implode again
And all the plans you kept in mind
Will only fall apart
And move out of your reach
And leave you (behind)

Things you tried to forget
And erase from your brain
Keep returning instead
And when they push you around
You’ll respond with a smile while you die on the ground
And it’s not okay with you
It is really not okay
But you got so tired of losing
Everything you want the most

The cuts – so deep, you fall alone
You cannot keep what you don’t own
Unless you sleep and dream alone
The cuts – so deep, you fall alone
You’re gonna weep and die alone

–> top of page


09. Just leave it

It’s the light that feels so compromising
I would think that it’s the least surprising
The clearest view that could not
Hide away the dirt in the dark spots
And you just said that it’s alright
Above all, everything’s gonna be fine
And then you’re waiting patiently
For anybody to agree

It’s time. But you just stand there, talking
Boring all the people you’ve just brought in
A picture, most insignificantly
And is there nowhere else to be?

You noticed I’m failing
But I knew you were flailing
In the filth you have left for me
But it’s worthless if you don’t see

Go, leave it! If you can’t see the mistake
Just leave it! You never give what it takes
You think you’re strong,
But will your breath last longer?
So close your eyes and run – your life is golden

If life needs different circumstances
After all, we missed the chances
To change it for the better or even for the worse

But all the time… You noticed I’m failing
But I knew you were flailing
In the filth you have left for me
But it’s worthless if you don’t see

–> top of page


10. Wish myself away

I feel like I’m high above the earth
And distance means that my voice remains unheard
And of all the smooth ways I could have chosen
Over the years when I’ve been frozen
I always picked the one
That would lead me further away

Whenever I tried to climb up the wall
To catch a clearer glimpse, I was not afraid to fall
And of all the right words I could have spoken
Over the years when I was broken
I always picked the ones
That would lead me further away

And if my life appears so small
It’s where I still belong
There’s not a thing I could recall
I’m not dividing right from wrong
And if I fall again
Then I’m inclined to stay right down
‘Cause in the end all that I want
Is to wish myself away

With every turmoil in my head
That I have lost, I never felt like I was dead
And of all the cool things I could have dreamt of
Over the years, I smelt your scent, I only dreamt of you
And it leads me further away…

I don’t want to make this right
I don’t want to get inside
I never felt so left alone by anyone
I do not choose to fight
But stay out of the light
To reach out of the dark and try to find you there again

–> top of page


Album “YOU WIN. WHO CARES?”

01. Sick of you

Have I told you what I really think?
Oh I bet now you can see the link
Between the words that come out of your mouth
And the void you seem to care about

It needs much more than just a pretty face to open doors
But just in case you don’t know what you’ve got to do…
Start with stop telling me things I told you

It’s not about your creepy eyes,
It’s more what your whole world implies
But I don’t want to waste my time
On someone with a lack of spine

So many things you’ll never get
Not even if your mind resets
Just have another cigarette
And go away now

I won’t go with you, ‘cause you always lie to me
No, not further, ‘cause you always whine to me
I’m way too tired and I’m sick of everything you do
I’m sick of what you do, I’m sick of you

I know it has occurred to you…
You stand in someone else’s view
While fighting with that selfie stick
You look so dumb, it makes me sick

Nothing has ever really changed
You’re posing in a scene, arranged
To share your image with the world
Forget about all that you’ve heard

You’re smug about your epic style
But yeah, I’ve learnt to fake a smile
That you don’t even recognise, just go away now!

–> top of page


02. Wrong direction

You’re asking questions but you never wait until you get my reply
And yet I’ll keep on trying to be polite, to wear a decent smile
It’s getting harder for me to understand what this is all about
Am I still part of the life that made me feel that I remain unbowed

But I’m always the light that shines
To see through your habits
And I’ll always be the reason why you’ll fail

But when daylight falls on us
And you face a life that’s just a fuss
You’re so far from past perfection
‘Cause you ran the wrong direction

And when daylight falls on us,
Time to realise you’re out of trust
You’re no part in my reflection
‘Cause you ran the wrong direction

If I could be the one you’d wish to see in me
But it’s hopeless
I can’t pretend you’re any more than a joke to me
So I am silent
And I wish myself any place but here
You know, it’s hurting
But I’m used to that, I’ve learnt to disappear

–> top of page


03. A bullet left for you

You said it will get better, so I pretend that time would matter
And I don’t plan to hurt you, but I don’t really care what is true
I feel like I’m asking for something everlasting
But what I need is just a reason to stay here

I followed directions, you tried to sell perfection
It seems I’m still waiting for something innovating
So meantime I won’t hide, I’ll have a drink upon your pride
‘cause it will keep you moving far out of sight

I don’t miss you at all, I’ll just hang up if you call
No more words I could say, I woke up on another day
I don’t miss you at all, I’ll be watching as you fall
No escape, no way through, but I’ll keep a bullet left for you

You took all my secrets, you always fed my weakness
You tried to contain me as you pretend to save me
But you couldn’t persuade me, ‘cause you have always failed me
Yet all I need is just somebody to lead me out

You’ve benumbed me of all I could feel
Have I become just an addict of the pain
You don’t dare show your face anymore
You’re the place in my heart for the pain

–> top of page


04. Invisible

I never thought you would be the one, cleaning up the mess I’m making
And even if the day has just begun, I’d really rather wake up when it’s dark

And then I try to trick myself, like all the others trick themselves
But it’s not working anymore

And when I try to take a step ahead, leaving all my hopes behind, then
You grab me by my neck and push me down, until I lay defenceless on the floor

You couldn’t really hurt me more, and everything you did before
It’s all meaningless to me

I always tried the best I could to follow your way
But now it’s time to forget …, it’s a good day to forget…
And thoughts drain my head… and the things I can’t say…
It’s the day to forget you

I never really want this day to end, but I can’t even try to end it
‘Cause I was drifting with the sand that runs right through my hands

Have I ever felt myself? But why would I torment myself
I’m not running anymore

So I become invisible
And I can stop the world moving beneath my feet
Now I can fall, I am unstoppable
I don’t feel like something else, I’m no way incomplete

‘Cause I become invisible
You won’t track me down and you can’t cross my way
And I can fall, I am unstoppable
I don’t think I can forget a single thing you did

Have you ever looked beyond my face? Have you ever tried to read me?
Are you just ignoring what I say? Is it so hard for you to understand?

You can’t trap me anymore, you can’t keep me anymore
I’m casting shadows on your floor

–> top of page


05. Anything you want

I hear what you say, but I cannot pay attention today
I get what you mean, is it in your genes or are you just plain?

So you can talk and talk for hours
Without getting the response that you want
I never thought you could stray so far from what you believe is real

You’ve gone out to date, so desperate to mate with somebody straight
But why can’t you see that this is the key to your misery?

And you still keep along that path
Without getting anything that you want
You said you’ve tried but whatever you need is so far out of your reach
You fight a war you cannot win
Not even realised you hide from yourself
And I’m too tired to talk, you know
Oh why can’t I let you go?

You look kind of flat. Pathetic and mad… Or are you just sad?
You haven’t learnt how to fall, still awaiting your call?
Would you hear it at all?

Oh, you would bargain for some love
You don’t get any closer to your dreams
You never tried, but oh, you always cried
For what you believe is real
You fight a war you’ll never win
You’re not getting anything that you want
I’m far too tired to talk, you know
Still I can never let you go

Why you keep going on as planned
I will never quite understand

But I don’t give a shit about anything you’re doing
Hell, I quit! I’m done with it
Why can’t we just skip the nasty bits?
‘Cause you’ll never get anything you want

–> top of page


06. The pain that kills you too

Come a little bit closer and whisper in my ear
What you never wanted anybody else to hear
And I really tried to focus, but now I drifted away again
For a moment I was clear, but you had gone

And I try to try harder
And I breathe underwater
Well, I know it was easier when we were nameless, but awake

I wish I could have followed when you ran away with me
Never felt so hollow, I never thought that this is me

So I try to try harder
And I breathe underwater
And I know you can feel it too
The meagre hope will suck me dry

I never wanted to be the pain that kills you too
I never wanted you to feign we’re in the queue
I never wanted to be your sole apology
I never wanted you to take control from me

If I would even bother, if I would even truly care
I could have chosen other ways
But I had nothing left to share

So I try to try harder
And I breathe underwater
I don’t know if you feel it too
I don’t think you ever knew

–> top of page


07. Just like this

You’re sick of feeling miserable
You’re moving but you can’t go
Your drink runs to overflow
Your mind with thoughts which never grow

You’re sick, but still tranquilised
The fly at your window dies
Your life feels so improvised
‘Cause nothing’s changing for you at all

You’re grateful because it seems they care
But eventually you could not bear
These useless attempts to repair
What can’t be fixed – it’s so unfair

And the issues they can’t resolve
‘Cause there’s no reason to get (be) involved
Yet smiling, as if they hadn’t sold you out for pride

But it is just like this!
‘Cause you’ve missed to kiss the most relevant ass
And replace your true face with your best smile
‘Cause it is just like this!
And what lives has to fight everyone to survive
In a life that applies to anyone but you

And nothing you ever did will really count in retrospect
Your answers: all incorrect
You’re what they know as failure

Destruction in small amounts lays unnoticed in their accounts
You know you’re no longer bound,
You owe no more dues

But you can’t replace it
And you keep it alive just in case – should
You feel the need to embrace
The ghosts inside your walls

–> top of page


08. Too late

As the rain pours in my head to drown out thoughts
And the stream will only stop when I think clear and pull you out
I don’t dare to take one step, but I can run
And I know you can mean well, but in the end I don’t need someone
to show me the way

I don’t know if I should care or let it go
I’ve been running out of questions, ‘cause the answers come too slow
And I’ve died a million times, all by myself
Now I’m done with wearing masks, just to impress somebody else

It’s too late to ask me for one last favour
It’s too late to keep all promises you’ve made
With you I don’t move on, ‘cause you’ve got me all wrong
So today I’ll go and change my point of view

And you pushed your entire life to get along
To convince yourself and everybody else you can carry on
But you see there’s nothing left that will remain
And you’re sick and tired of searching for the words that could explain

–> top of page


09. If this is hope

It’s the eye of the storm where the rage has gone
And nothing can bring no badness to you now
But you know, you never seek what’s underneath
You’re so tired of only wherefores and goodbyes

If this is hope, then you’re not a part of this picture
The dream was never worth being dreamt
If you could halt and freeze this one moment forever
The glimpse of light would slowly fade away

The sky is still grey, you’re far astray
And nothing will ever bring you back again
But you know, you’re all alone.
But the pain has gone for good now
With every wherefore and goodbye

I never knew what could be sadder
Yet everything just won’t get better
I understand there comes an end… but why today?

–> top of page


10. I don’t fight back

I often wonder if there’s just a little thing
That most of the good people could do right
And then I look into the foolish eyes of kings
And I think to myself, well, better luck next time

I forge ahead, I stay in bed
There’s nothing I can do to make it all go away
You think you’ll buy yourself into a greater wealth
Wow that’s impressive, does it really work for you?

But I don’t fight back, not anymore
I won’t even take up the slack, like everybody else
Who just obeys, I need to get away
No promises I have to keep for anyone

Well I don’t fight it back, not anymore
I’m always off the beaten track for everybody else
I don’t betray, I need to get away
No words are left for me or anybody else

There is no second chance, you know there never was
You really thought no one could see what you have done
I fail to feel any empathy
Well, this is not one of my primary concerns

What does the winner get when everybody’s lost
Not even knowing they were part of this stupid game
You just let go, nobody told you so
But this is always how it has to end

–> top of page


11. What if there’s nothing

Can this rain cleanse everything
From the dirt that lays over a hundred years
Washing away the things the things no-one ever needs
Why is it so cold, when I thought everything’s okay
And once again it seems the same

Maybe you were right when you said there is no return
But how could I fight it? The fire never ceases to burn

Now there’s nothing left I could ask for
And what remains is all just shattered and destroyed

What if there’s nothing to hold onto?
‘Cause you know it would just fall apart
And there’s nothing more to count upon
‘Cause the first thing dead was trust

Is there a light that could shine on everything
That I haven’t seen and never imagined it was really there
Helping me find a way past all this crap
And no looking back to the days we never had

–> top of page


Album “ANOTHER MANIC EPISODE”

01. Not what I wanted

Just help yourself, I’m lying here
It’s not the time to disappear
It still could get worse, but anyway
I’ll take the pills you offer me

I see myself on padded feet
Just take the steps that surely lead me to place where I can fade out all the noise that people make

Just leave me, just leave me out
Don’t touch me

What did you say? Where have you gone?
Where are you now? I want some fun!
Let’s just go out and bother some strangers who can get mad so easily

This is not what I wanted! My God, what have we become? Why haven’t we started?
It’s the play I’ve learnt from my heart, well, this is a nightmare, but it’s my life
This is not what I wanted, you’re right but could you stop dramatizing what I said?
Got your point but hey, I’m alright, well, this is a nightmare, but it’s my life

Still got some pride that’s left in me
I know you think I cannot see
You keep myself away from me
At least you try, occasionally
But after all I’m just okay
With everything still in my way
I just don’t care enough today
Yet I don’t care

–> top of page


02. Fake to be alive

Wake up, it’s time
And let’s cross the red line
No more worries, the world’s no longer blurry
Let’s just cut through the wrong connections that pursued us in our whole life
Let me take your best knife

And the sun will rise when the city awakes from the dead of the night
And the bars cast shadows on my face

Save me, get me out and then break me
I’m so proud of you
Take me somewhere I can fake to be alive
Save me from myself and then break me
Well, I don’t care but please take me
Somewhere I can fake to be alive

I’ve been waiting, I’m so tired of stating
When will you come around here and take me home
Further into the pit of mankind we grew
But you’re out and I bleed
I don’t care as much as it seems

And the sun will rise when the city awakes from the dead of the night
I’m still sitting here in chains

–> top of page


03. All the things you say

It’s cold outside, but I have to leave, ’cause I can’t stay
So many words are said, just a waste of breath
I’d die to get me out of the mire devouring me
Then I’ll wake up and find the world aligned again
I take a break from trust and lies
The altered parts of my memory prevailed again
I feel so incomplete today

What do you think kept us alive
In unstrained moments, in airy times
With nothing left to say but ‘I don’t care’
I’ll take a break from cheer and pain
The counterparts will never match again
There’s nothing left to take care of

All the things you say
Cannot hurt me much, I’m a whore all over
And I’ll be there just for you
For a last time tonight
The things you say
Don’t affect me much, I’m a supernova
And I’ll shine so bright for you
For a last time tonight

Nobody gets what they deserve
Now as time goes by it’s immaterial
It hardly matters what I do believe
We’ll take a break from standing still
At least we’ll clear eternity another day
But we don’t mind

–> top of page


04. Under control

There’s a crack in the ice and it’s coming after me
Should I wait and not blink, or should I run and get away
But every will would need a force
And once again there will be another way out, just like every time
So I go drowning and see what’s coming next

I could go and have a drink with you, but I’m too bored
Oh, it could be nice but that’s not what I’m looking for, what you’re looking for
So why not leave it all behind?
Well, it seems so draining just to think about it anyway
So I keep going and leave it all untouched

I’m under control
I am well sedated and permanently sick
I’m under control
I don’t care too much if I win or if I get tricked
I ran out of passion, but carry the weight
’til the end when I bury myself
Still under control, I’m taking it all from you

I go waste your time like any other day
Seems I look forsaken, and I’ll be either way
And when I’m laughing it’s my fault
And when I say that all these pictures on the wall are greyish anyway
I didn’t mean it, they’re only black and white

–> top of page


05. Observer

They’ve found you amongst the waves
I went away 2 weeks ago
On normal days I’m not used to saying goodbye many times
No looking back, but hey you know, just a glimpse to remember the times
I’m not too sentimental, just don’t want to forget everything

The distance was growing fast
I still feel your breathing on my skin
Expected you behind me
But you’re never there when I look around
So I forge ahead and I feel sure I’ll never get any rest
I’m feeling weak, but I have nothing to regret

Escaped before I fell apart
Why the fuck you broke my heart
Another end, another start
Why the fuck you broke my heart

I can’t put them into any order
The million image-shreds of your face
I should not care about you, but get me further away
Can you tell me how I could resist
To watch them saving you from the sea
They’ll surely fail, they’ll be too late, it’s too late.

–> top of page


06. Until it’s over

I’ve been to your private hell
And I thought it’s our farewell
But to keep up the will is a gift and a curse and it’s treason
And our dreams will divide
And all thinking gets out of the light
We can’t reach each others hand unless we fall

We’re beautiful – as long as we believed we’re getting closer
But as we grew closer we’re unsuitable to live the perfect life
And just get older until it’s over

We’re becoming weaker, could be time to admit our defeat
But there’s so much left undone, but no 2nd chances
Time is passing us by and it doesn’t seem right
That you’re dying in my arms and leave me behind

Who cast the first stone into the water so that the waves would rise and rise
And tear ourselves away from home
It doesn’t matter what we do and what we feel or say
You’re looking far too frail…

–> top of page


07. The race of the rats

As if bugs are creeping up inside you
They colonise your body and take you to the ruins of your self-destruction
But you still can go, so let’s just go
No need to divide all the good from the bad and the happy from the sad
You’re just above the waterline, but
You still can go, so let’s just go

Now time is up for all those bad decisions
That you came to after thinking too much
About living amidst the people you hate
You still can go, so let’s just go

It’s your secret dead-end that you’re trying to bend
To take part in the race of the rats
Now you’re gasping for air and the world proves unfair
And it’s bearing the blame for your own mistakes
The signals you send as the man you pretend to be
In the race of the rats
Never hit me at all, so I’m watching your fall
And everyone’s stepping aside now

When all your life was built on misinformation
And you just tried to find a proper place to be
Then why didn’t you use your brain to think?
You still can go

–> top of page


08. If I were you

You can’t live and you can’t die
The space around you looks so sad, but I won’t cry for you again
I’m counting the words that fly to me
I shut my ears so they won’t come inside, I just became so tired of that
So I won’t breathe, I look away and I can no more feel you here, you see?

If you would care you’d see a truth that will not match with yours
However hard you try, it won’t be right
But I can’t leave until you know that I can no more bear you near, you see?

You can’t break me now, ’cause I’ve learnt to resist you every day
When you made your vows that would last one day
And I hate to say, but your days are long gone
And it took me a while to get over it
But I can’t let you run, finding another way on another day

I’d rather die, if I were you, with all these things you can’t undo
Why don’t you find an answer to these questions I’m asking
Oh I would swim, if I were you, across the ocean wide and blue
Until I drown, until I’m true
You still owe me an answer

When you’re lying on the floor
Like a 1-bit-copy of what you’ve been before, but you don’t know
I clear my way from all your waste and feel the dust beneath my feet,
It’s pure and clean, I’m bare and new
But I won’t freeze, because I know that I’m no longer bound to you, you see?

–> top of page


09. I don’t want you in here

You said I’m wrong while you explained me how I feel
But honestly, I never felt so much when you were here
And I don’t mind you analyzing me again
But do you really think I wouldn’t notice what you do?
Are you right? Well, I don’t know…
But what still works for yourself is untrue

I can take it myself, I don’t want you in here
Why don’t you even understand what you do to me
I will find my own way, I don’t want you in here
What’s the point of dragging me back to reality again

I feel alright, are you expecting me to talk?
‘Cause I can’t think about all the things that matter just to you
If I could raise my head I would just look away
I close my eyes and I wonder if there’ll be another day
Am I wrong? Well, I don’t know
But what works for myself remains true

Leave me alone, there’s so much more you can regret
Please turn off the light before you go and I’ll be home

–> top of page


10. Stay

Is it already time to say a last goodbye?
I have not made these rules
And it seems we can’t get around
And the things I have learnt are of no importance now
And I hope I will never wake up again, so

Stay with me, always…
‘Cause I won’t get over you
There’s so much room in this life for you and me

There is nothing to say when all words are meaningless
No more breaks, not one day to take another breath
And the sun seems unfair if it shines on everyone but you
I can’t stand this any longer, please stay…

I have tried, I have lied, I was wrong so many times
Well, I can’t just let go, I would take the pain from you if I could
But now come, take a rest in my arms
And don’t try to think about all the things we’ll miss… so please stay…

Stay, please don’t go
Wake up now, ’cause life’s no longer worth anything without you
So why can’t you just stay…

–> top of page


Album “REASONS TO KILL”

01. I hate you more than my life

Another storm begins to gather, taking my unheard screams away
I am wasting so much time now, playing along with the scenes

I cannot cling to lost ambitions, I don’t need your effort now
Cause I’m no longer part of this game
No trace of me remains

For the darkening of my eyes
For a covering of my skies
For revealing my disguise
I hate you more than my life

For the words I never heard
For the things I’d have preferred
For my focus going blurred
I hate you more than my life

No correction of wrong directions would lead to the perfect path
I have been the false reflection of the image behind the door

I was permanently drifting into the great white void
Just before I go insane
No trace of me remains

–> top of page


02. Face me

I’m cold, but I’m awake
And fragments of my memory are randomly erased
Like the picture of your face

I tried not to forget
The anesthetic effect of time that passed by, constantly
And my head seems to explode

What else could I feel, but scorn?
My anger has become a silent thorn under the skin
Still waiting to break through

Face me, I’ll chase you / I don’t need a guide to your mind
Come, face me, I’ll trace you back /our beauty we’ve left far behind
Come, face me, I’ll chase you / to bury your light in myself
Come, face me, I’ll trace you back someday, I’ll trace you back anyway

But solitude remains
Your former shine became so dull, the mirror of a soul
I’ve found myself inside your heart

I’m cold, but I’m alive
And I tear aside the walls to find a way outside again
But I end up in the next maze

You never knew I was here, you’ve never seen me here fighting with your fears
And take the torment on myself in existing inside you, living inside you

–> top of page


03. Change the view

You said you’re trying so hard, but it’s in vain
I think it could be all more complex again

You say you see me, you try to take my hand
I wish I could reach you, but you don’t quite understand

The essence in this life – ingenious destruction
A balanced self weighs more than all the doubts you’re going through
The anchor of our faults resists the last eruptions
I’m drowning in your ignorance, why can’t I change the view

You say it’s hurting, but after all we will proceed
I think I’d like to believe this too, indeed
How dead we are

You said I should go on talking before we fall
I think, well I did not speak today at all

–> top of page


04. When I bite

And this addiction keeps you moving ahead
The contradiction disappears in your head
You’ve seen the dead when you were turning around
The ships you’ve sailed have all been running aground

Don’t try to fool me ’cause I know when you lie
Who shall be taken by the glint in your eye
And I no longer want to listen to what
You’ve said a thousand times before, it will never come true

I’d have set the fire for you
I’d have killed the neighbours kids for you
I’d have tied up my hands to you
Now there’s nothing left over for you

I’d have missed the target for you
I’d have rejected the bargains for you
I’d have arranged an escape again, for you
Now there’s only compassion left for you

I have stopped to care about the good and the bad
The definition has to be specified again
I’ve changed my skin and dropped the feeling instead
Why should I finish what I never began?

Don’t try to control me, ’cause I am the light
That leads myself out of the blackness inside
And I cannot pretend that this is real anymore
‘Cause I am just the vision you have killed before

In all this time you have suppressed my delight
There’s never been a chance for winning this fight
I’m still uncertain if I’m doing it all right
Will I be deadly when I bite?

–> top of page


05. Reset to default

Another day, another way to forget the easiness of life
And it feels like I’m running away from the steps I take

It’s still in my mind…
when all the colours became a million shades of grey
No turning back to the past, no more memorizing your sorrow

With the darkness left behind
I just don’t want to know what tomorrow brings
And the fear is blind – a last goodbye to the earth

Yet another reset to default
And life is spinning around like a feather
And I’m turning away from the walls
which obstructed the way before
And another time I burnt my shelter down
To feel your ice and your rain and your fire
Until I’m pure and bare and safe again –
no one ever can turn me around.

I am so tired, tired of pretending unspoiled harmony
And no one ever wasted a thought on asking me how I feel

It’s just the time
to decide between countless ways that I could take
And even if there are doubts I will never complain or regret

And your words are left behind
I still don’t want to know when tomorrow comes
And heaven’s blind – a last goodbye to the world

–> top of page


06. Rise and fall

The pain is gone
I’ve been profoundly wrong
I never thought the day would dawn again

The paths – astray
There was no other way
I haven’t seen a sunrise since you’ve gone

I’ve wasted all my fears
Another day we’ll rise and fall
And restart the dead-end game

The sparkle in your eyes is distressing me
But we’ll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

The wars we fought
All set at nought
Why did we never take what we required

The lights go out
Well, I can live without
Cause shadows disappear and let me go

I’ve wasted all my fears
Another day we’ll rise and fall
And restart the dead-end game

The sparkle in your eyes is depressing me
But we’ll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

I’m flying through the years
And realize we’d rise and fall
While we’re crawling bare and chained

Through a world we thought we’ve made a perfect place
We’ll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

–> top of page


07. I’d rather break

The world has changed today
A silence took the light away from me
And I have seen the truth about the hell you came from
There are far too many reasons to kill

I’m waiting for the day to come
I’ve won the battle on my own
I was torn, but now I’m running out of doubts

I soar up to the sky
‘Cause I could not comply
With rules I must deny
Now all the barricades are gone
And I can write a different ending
And I will never bend
For things I can’t believe in
I’d rather break in two

All words are said today
My questions safely cast away
But I never tried to find the answers inside me
And through all the years my pure objections were overruled

–> top of page


08. My Spaces

Today the lights began to fade
And I have washed my mind in their dirt
And I have tried blanking out these thoughts
That always felt so wrong, but still right
It was just a step too close to keep me staying here

I’ve lost control over myself
I’ve lost control over my spaces / space
My last reply to all the lies
Now I don’t want to compromise
Before I’m stunned I want to see
How much the world can disagree

Today there’s no one left to trust
And I would break the bonds if I could
But I am bored
Bored with all the days spent in my own haze
And again I am just not in the mood to change a world

If I could heal the sores, if I could keep it under
Would I just kill myself instead of you?

–> top of page


09. One step closer

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–> top of page


10. My bleeding heart

I escaped from your mind, yet unseen
While the angels have lost every inner fight
I turned away from the fears
And from the shadows arises a vague delight

Hurt and expelled
But my view’s getting clear, I’m no longer blind
With your life in my hands
You’ll have to find a way to rebuild your trust

Break the pain – what starts will end
Break the pain – who fails will bend
Break the pain – what starts will end
Break the truth just once

You’re twisting and turning again
But whatever you try, you’re like paralyzed
And it won’t stop to bleed

Keep the pain away
Take the hurt off me
Keep the pain away
Get the filth out

It saves you from the light to wear the mask, the world turns faster now
I cannot fill the holes you’ve torn out of my bleeding heart
And time was on your side, but I could hide behind your fate again
And wait until you step out of the dark, my bleeding heart

Your senses are sharpened
But still you have no faint idea if you stand or lie
And your hands cannot move
And a twinge of despair overwhelms you now

No time to regret
When you still don’t know what the hell went so wrong
And it won’t ever stop

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11. The pages

I tried to taste like I’m blind
But it’s still so hard to ignore those tears
And when I spread my arms there’s nothing I could feel

With all barriers in mind
It’s just like I’m caught in a cage of your fears
And the choices have passed, unused and out of reach again

I turn over the pages till they’re blank
But how could I assuage the fire in my head
I don’t want the answers to be bent
I never asked for reasons in the end

I try to lock your thoughts
Cause my head is aching, I feel abused
And as time went by I heard less and less from myself

The cold wind all around
Just becomes a storm, but I’m lying still
And I don’t really care what will remain of life and you and me

–> top of page


Album “FRONTIERS”

01. Under the skies

Leave me here, I’ll find a way where I can walk
Just believe me, it’s okay if you go

Under the skies it’s my heaven
Under the stars I can be home
Turning my back on everything
I always thought it was part of the play

I tried to keep the secrets in my past
But when I’m looking back
I stumble through the darkness in my head

And walls collapse inside of me again
And for a second I am free again
I let your demons guide my way again
And I know I’m dying in the rain

I’m not falling but I never hit the ground
I don’t hear the things you say anymore

Within the arms of your courage I don’t feel secure
With my eyes wide open I’m running fast towards the day

I tried to keep the secrets in my past
But when I’m looking back
I stumble through the darkness in my head

–> top of page


02. Why did I raise the fire

And your world came tumbling down
And you’re cold and you feel so naked
So today you came around
And you just could not believe what you’re seeing

And the waves merged right above your head, that night
When you were resolved as never before
Recalling all the things he said
And the light was getting closer and closer

Get me out
I’m wrong and sold
I’m not bleeding
Why did I raise the fire?

Get lost!
I’ve been crossed off
I’m not feeling
Why did I raise the fire?

Now you take a second breath
And it hurts but you don’t feel your body
Everything remains unsaid
There’s no tear trailing down your face anymore

And memories reappeared too soon
And your mind is trapped in hopelessness
And again you’re dreaming of a better place to be
It’s getting closer and closer

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03. No apologies

How long did I wait for your reaction
The world around has disappeared
There was no chance for interaction
Blind and deaf we veered between joy and fear

When the skies show the direction
Will we go or take the opposite
And when no one follows, are we sure we’re still right
But we didn’t care about the end

We never asked for a permission
We simply climbed up every wall
Another day, another vision
Eyes were used to see what lies behind

We were falling out of heaven
Crashing hard against the ground
Creeping all the way through hell and back
We never knew when we’ll return

All I can say, we have no apologies
No consolation wanted
I promise we don’t mind the things you do and what you say
We have no apologies
No desperation needed
But fortune’s on our side when we defy all conventions now

We’re untouched by your conviction
Even if we fall from grace
Maybe this is our addiction
Not to hide, but breathing free again

We shared our angels and the demons
We tried to mesmerize our life
Another word, another reason failed
Now it’s time

–> top of page


04. More than this

The bonds are worn away
The anger sleeps, the world is grey
Can I sense what I never felt
Or did I become too callous instead

So I’m waiting for the day
I threw your promises away
Now I lie amidst the shards
Trying not to hurt myself too hard

When I went through walls of glass
Invisible, but tough to pass
I never questioned the injuries
I don’t want to wait for the reprise

I doubt the more I ask
These stains and marks will always last
And I welcome my desire
To drop the things I once admired

And when I turned my back on you
I thought I’m wrong, but that’s not true
I’ll deal with the disease to remember everything

The truth is plain when thoughts are in vein
I hate to compromise, well, I want more than this
The fury has vented, another end in sight
But I want more than this
And if I fall the world’s too small
But really, I want more than this
Your purity, a velvet sea
Your eyes are blinding me

–> top of page


05. Parasites

No faith, no calm, no chase, no fission bomb
No breath, no taste, no meds, no human waste
No time to die, no sign to tag the lie
No breaks, no bounds, no space to run aground

We’re not blind

No aim, no fear, no need to interfere
No sex, no drugs, no clue how to fix the bugs

The faults are repeating, we crossed the line
Are we just competing against the humankind
The thoughts we’re defeating are redefined
And if we’re deleted by parasites, well, we don’t give a fuck

No tasks, no blame, no charge, no hall of fame
No hell, no bucks, no bed, no sleep, it sucks
No sense, no life, no omen we could survive
No blood, no grief, no cure for the strong belief

–> top of page


06. Such a shame

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–> top of page


07. Where are you

You are unseizable like the sand that runs through my hands
And you’re flowing away with the waves
To alley the pain you can’t stand any more

Within your thoughts there is no room for another game
To pretend and to act like whoever expects
There’s nothing left to respect

With your arms spread on the floor
You try to forget your life of yore

You are waiting for a better day
When you can ignore the things they say

And your fear is taking over again
The fight and struggle was all in vain
And the stars cannot light the way
To the place where you are today /
2nd chorus: To the place you’d like to be today

You feel the cuts that cover all of your naked skin
You remember each time when a drop of your blood
Has seeped into the ground

And you wonder why it’s not hurting anymore
and you bear all the unspoken truths in your mind
There’s nothing left to regret

I followed your trace again
But now I feel my strength has waned
I would give everything to see your starry eyes just for one more time

–> top of page


08. The rising doubt

I saw your face so close to mine
An icy breath rose from your lips
When I tried to touch your pale skin
I was falling with my thoughts through time
And I woke up tonight

Another endless hour and I feel I’m alive
I’m turning over again and I attempt to cross the line
Where only nightmares are waiting for me to die

Smudged blood all over my face
The cracks in the mirror distort my unbearable self
A sequence of the morning after and the days to come

I killed the rising doubt – but the scars will never disappear
I killed the rising doubt – and no one’s left to interfere
So am I still unbowed – With the stakes and thorns inside of me
I killed the rising doubt

I heard your steps so close behind
A cold draught caressed my neck
And a blurry picture of you
Dissolving when I turned my face towards the light again

My skin is burning, I’m going blind
And I find myself back in this empty room
A fragment of a shattered world right next to me

–> top of page


09. Pain goes by

The walls are too close now, I’m panting for air
And I still cannot remember how I got here
Unable to focus, it’s all monochrome
In this unbearable cold

And I can’t walk away
Barriers are obstructing the way
Tall enough to force me to stay
The unhealed wounds will never ever vanish from my hands

My senses are fading, I’m not going blind
But the world around has lost all its attraction
The answers are grey and I don’t care anymore
About the secrets of life

And when the morning comes
I’ll feel a kind of strength in my arms
Repeating everything, but it harms
And every second of every day the sand runs through my hands

All my demons collide with the rage in myself I’m not getting over
Frontiers arise where the view was clear and new before
It can’t make me cry, ’cause I wasted my tears so many years ago
Pain goes by, but it’s leaving me insentient all alone

I opened the door and I tried to get out
But all that I got was another wall
Another prediction and another recall
Another fate in another war

I don’t want to break, I don’t care about the promises made
I’ll never get for what I have paid
Now I feel for the first time that my life is in my hands

–> top of page


10. Until I’m back

The hush in my nerves is killing
The damage remains outside
And again silence has seized the reign

The center of concentration
Is spinning around too fast
If the ground is shaking, will it break?

Can you suffer the pain
Listening to words when they all mean the same

Can you fall into their trap
While you’re inside their cone of light

Was it a wrong reaction
Was it the other door
Was it you keeping me off the track

Creeping through dripping venom
Taking a toxic breath
Answering hatred with a kiss

Can you walk on the blade
Are you afraid, are there bounds in your head

Can you jump on the train
Getting you out of the line of fire

I’m still not lost within the maze you’ve built around myself
I stand between the opened gates, just one step away

I’ve found you in the tragedies you’ve staged a long time ago
Racked with guilt, consumed by pain, just a step away

–> top of page


11. The line of sight

Another day, another pain to endure
But there is something in your eyes that makes me smile
Another word, another time I am mute
And my memories are slowly passing off

When you go away I’ll still be inside of you
For the time that remains in an annihilated life
You are the sun resurrecting me
Too many things unsaid, so many dreams undone

Again the scenes are flashing up in my mind
When we laughed and cried and lived and died so free
Did we believe we could outlive what we love
That there’s nothing in our way that keeps us apart

When you have to go I will go with you
Whatever it may take, I won’t live without you
You are the sun that keeps me alive
Now everything is dark, but we fall into the light

We’ll overcome the line of sight.

–> top of page


Album “BROKEN GRID”

01. Hiding memories from the sun

To overcome the barricades
With walls far too high to climb upon
To see the place beyond
If I go blind I will be found
Why should something divide you from me?

Out of equilibrium
All the different ways have ended far too soon
Every dream is locked in my head
When I try to get out of bed
To drown the next day without you

Hiding memories on the run
No mistake becomes undone
Hiding memories from the sun
Could I erase it just to stun

Trapped simplicity
To long for bliss and hope and harmony
But contradiction smiles at me
I choose to turn my head away
To face the una voidable end

To overcome the days
My last attempt to disregard gravity
The view is mostly blurred
But the perspective doesn’t hurt
I can’t express how much I miss you

–> top of page


02. Stigmata rain

I try to stay so undetected, following you silently
Don’t you notice me behind your back
I’m following in your tracks

Even if you’re underwater
Gasping for the air to breathe
I’ll be on your side to hold you down
You should have been aware

But your eyes believe in me
It’s like always, every time
And you’d better not find me here in the dark
When the shadows rise again

And you will fight and scream in the stigmata rain
Stumble and fall, it’s no use to complain
With my hands around your neck, finding passion to win
Dancing and laughing with you, where’s the sin?
You try to hide, to resist the stigmata rain
Your escape plan will surely be in vain
Just don’t talk to me, ’cause I hate to discuss
These damned questions of madness, frustration and lust

Waiting for the perfect moment
Nobody can observe us here
Awakened from our forced cold apathy in a raging scenery
If I could be understanding, I would give you one last chance
But it’s so far beyond normality and familiarity

You seek, you hide, you cry for help
You stand, you fall, try to inhale
You talk, you ask just by despair
Don’t tell me it’s wrong, infamous, unfair

–> top of page


03. (You think you’re) Radical

Like the raven to the dove
You always speak from far above
Got the spike still in your heart?
Do you remember where to start again
Those phrases, they expired years ago
You really love it when they bow to you
Still the same contemptuous smile
I know I’m getting over you

You think you’re radical, rechargeable?
Inflatable! You’re incurable
You think you’re radical?
Not repairable! Infusible.
You’re never radical

With the anger of a rat
In the sewer, sensing blood
Did you score again with scorn
Be wary not to warn against fraud
The foundations of the house
That you’ve built up just to burn it down
I’ll stay unapproachable to you
I know I’m getting over you

–> top of page


04. The Shield

Marked down, the innocent victim, blindfold
Lost your bearings in the dark
The endeavour to sharpen the senses
That won’t get you out of here

No words break through the silence in your head
As thoughts crash on the walls
And you stumble again and imminently will fall
Your pleading shall never be heard

But the shield was torn apart
As you try not to hide again
Your shield was torn apart
…defenceless and naked
But the seed that was sown has grown
Without any selection
The seed they’ve sown has grown
No chance now of correction

It hurts, your body is aching,
Reflecting the pain you have felt all those years
So invariable, every day
With no light to lead you out

It’s useless wasting thoughts on escaping
To wash away all the tears of the nights when you cried
In pure isolation

–> top of page


05. Creep

Dies ist eine Coverversion und wir sind nicht berechtigt, den Text zu reproduzieren. Bitte sucht im Internet nach dem Originaltext von Radiohead.

–> top of page


06. Here I stand

Stopping the clocks to watch you breathing
The world I know and understand radiates your smile
And here I stand, I try to put my arms around you
I can’t forget the thoughts and words and the dreams we’ve had
And here I stand…

Do you know that I’m here, even if you can’t look at me
I’ll always live my life for you, to be by your side
And here I am to take you home across the borders
And I long to give you everything I have

And here I stand on the puzzle
Every step I take is destruction
Here I stand with these pictures, it’s just my imagination
Here I stand in this cold room, with your hand so pale and lifeless
Here I stand, I’m waiting for a further proof of your will

We always thought the world would be too small for us
We overthrew the things we couldn’t stand anymore
Here I am now, I close my eyes as time has passed us by
And I remember all the thoughts and dreams we’ve had

–> top of page


07. I keep my eyes shut

My life is trusted to myself
No hope, no fear, nothing around here
I care no more for things that I adore
You don’t pray for God’s help anymore

I hate you and me and the whole world
Zero attraction for mankind’s infection
Always taking shortcuts
A signatory with a broken hand

I keep my eyes shut when you want me to see
I keep my mouth shut when I don’t want to speak
And if you try to touch me and I run away
You get cross, as you cannot feel my pain

I keep my eyes shut when you want me to speak
I keep my mouth shut when I don’t want to see
And if you ask my questions and expect an answer
You get cross, when I don’t waste futile words on you

Polarising separation
Serving poisonous mushrooms for dinner
Trapping myself without your fervour
I’m changing victims every hour

–> top of page


08. Hero & Conqueror

Hide the secret in your hand, it’s getting weaker
There is no new life for rent to start again
Hide your face behind a mask, that’s not the game for us
I’m amputating all your dreams, they’ll never come true

Will you find me? I am deep inside your train of thought
Try to blind me, but I can always see through your eyes

You’re the hero and the conqueror
You left everything behind, even the beauty of your smile
You’re the hero and the conqueror
And I’ll never follow you, just to stand right by your side

So I buried all the thoughts and all my memories
After rising, you fell down and we met again
And you begged for helping hands and for solutions
But there was nothing left in me except compassion

Can’t you find me? I’m too deep inside your train of thought
You can’t blind me, ’cause I can always see through your eyes

–> top of page


09. Lies

Should we care for insincerity
While we are floating away
And the faces pass us by

Should we care for this insanity
Destroying fears anyway
When curing is just a fake
When all desire is denied

Will we mind the instability
When hurting eyes can see
And cruelty overflows

Changing shapes, resembling constancy
But hiding at home in bed
Thinking aloud but speaking silently

All you need is
Lies
Retouching all your tears, ideas will rise, you’ll overcome the years with
Lies
Retouching all your fears and you will rise
And overcome the tears

Purging out the rigid old beliefs
And realise what’s new
Never justify yourself
If you could gain fame enough
To beg for understanding
But you’d never really care

–> top of page


10. Sometimes

Tearing down the monument
That’s been a sign of what you stand for
The stones it’s made from are too old to survive this
The future years in icy rain
When we’ll be gone

You bear the torment sometimes
Hardly trusting yourself, sometimes
Standing motionless sometimes, when the fury takes control
Pretending glory for the blind, sometimes

Diving through an underpass
Running fast between the raindrops
Tracking down your intuition
Inverting words that we believed
And we are gone

–> top of page


11. Your hell is here

Turning to the next page of your diary
It’s blank and virgin white
All the lines are blurred, you swim on melted paper
Drowning false delight
You don’t need to breathe, your eyes are clear
But where’s your hope
To come up again and face the truth
The lies in life

Your hell is here
You’re fighting monsters to get the constancy out of your head
But your hell, my dear, is feeding oceans
With your devotion to flood your sick world

You’re pouring with the ink onto the background
It’s just like a waterfall
The shapes are drawn so fast, but letters never talk or say a word at all
You still sit there, the words are gone that should pronounce
The uncut truth about your life, the lies in life

–> top of page


12. I can’t remember

Sinking slowly down to the ground
But it’s still above me
Drifting weightlessly in time and the seconds won’t increase
It’s so strange to fly and fall, but I pass the things I know
And these words I’ve never heard, I still don’t understand

And I thought it could be wrong, to break the lines I walk upon
And I felt sure I’d finally find the whole puerility
In my eyes it’s still the same, but in yours I see the flames
Burning all the candles down, that we lit so long ago

And if I tear the world apart I am wounding just myself
Every ending is a start in a wayward order
The custom to change the things you love
Will it lead to an impasse
Or will it all be light and dark but we’re too blind to see

And even if I try to depart from my sole dimension
And I return to see the fault and no comprehension
I just wish that the hours would wash away
I’d truly have another try
But how much I ever strive, I can’t remember anything

–> top of page


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